How to be a good audience member, Rule #1

Don't get up and walk out mid-show if doing so involves walking directly in front of, or past, the dancer! Especially when she has a sword on her head!! And when there is almost no one left in the restaurant!

Recently, I was performing on a very slow night at my weekly gig. There were a total of three tables when I started my show - two groups of two, and one group of six. One of the tables of two got up and left almost immediately after my entrance - they obviously were not there for the show and got out of there pretty quickly. So, I was left with two tables to perform for, eight people total.

About three quarters of the way through my set, I am in the middle of my sword routine when the table of six gets up, walks right past me and out the door! Leaving me with TWO people to perform my sword, drum solo and finale for!

Now, I know that I am a good performer. I know that audiences enjoy my shows. And I understand that bellydancing just isn't for everyone, and some people will go out to a venue that happens to have bellydancing just to enjoy their time, and not have any interest in seeing a show. But doesn't common sense and decency tell someone that walking out of an almost-empty restaurant, not only in the middle of a dancer's show, but in the MIDDLE of a SONG is RUDE?? No? I mean, I would think it would be pretty darn obvious!!!

So, Rule #1 about how to be a good bellydance audience member - wait until the end of the show to leave. Or if you must leave mid-show, do it so that you are inconspicuous, and at least wait until a song is over!!

Best. Party. Ever.

Tis the season for weddings, and I've been dancing at quite a few lately. Two this weekend alone. I love dancing at weddings, but this weekend I had the opportunity to dance with the coolest guests at the best wedding ever (from a bellydancer's perspective, of course!).

I drove all the way down to Pt. Pleasant on the Jersey shore (on a Friday night - talk about a stressful situation! I was petrified that I'd get stuck in shore traffic and miss the wedding!). My husband and I decided to make a mini-vacation and spend the night on the shore. I was hoping for a good party - a rockstar party, if you will - to make the long drive worth while. What I got was better than any rockstar party I've ever danced for.

The crowd was awesome. It was a mix of Arabs and Americans, but everyone was up and dancing. The groom and all his friends were Arabic, and they did not sit down the entire show. They were up and dancing with me, singing along to all my songs (I had added some new pop songs to my set, and I'm so glad I did - they knew all the words and obviously loved them!). There was an older man (very old....) who was dancing along the sidelines, so I pulled him out to the dance floor while I danced my slow and sexy almost-taksim to Jemileh. He was getting his groove on right along with me! And then he gave me the best compliment a bellydancer could ask for....he said "Are you an Arab?" Me: "No!" Him: "You're not??? What are you??" Me: "I'm Italian!". Then he started cracking up (this is all on the dance floor during my show, mind you) and said "But you are SO GOOD! How can you be this good and not be Arab??" I melted.

I seriously felt like a guest at this party, I was having so much fun. I couldn't believe that this was my JOB - I was being paid to get out there and party with everyone else! It was truly an amazing time and I wish every party I danced at could be that awesome (although I don't know if I'd have the energy to keep up if they were ALL that crazy!). It made my trip down to the Jersey shore totally worth every minute stuck in traffic (oh yeah, and my husband and I had a nice time on our mini-vacay, which made it worth it too....;-).

Good luck to the bride and groom (and to all my brides and grooms who have really all been wonderful people). May you have a lifetime of love, happiness, and dance.

I wanna be a rockstar....

I've performed at a lot of parties throughout my professional dance career. I've met a lot of people and experienced many different situations. Over the years, I've experience two huge extremes in the types of parties I perform at, and I've labeled them appropriately....the "plague parties" and the "rockstar parties."

A "plague party" is one in which the guests treat me like I have the plague - I spend half of my time trying to pull people up to dance with me, and rather than being willing participants in the show, the guests shriek and recoil in horror and will not budge. That would be bad enough on its own, but another common characteristic of a plague party is the "point at your friend" game that the guests inevitably play. As I make my way around the room, every table will have at least one person pointing at someone else at their table and mouthing "pick him, pick him." So, I will go over to the unsuspecting guest and attempt to dance with them, which will always end with yet another shriek and recoil, at which point I move to the next table and start the process all over.

Plague parties really stink, because I can never get into the groove of the performance. I spend most of the set just traveling around to the guests trying to get them involved, and by the time I realize that absolutely no one wants to get up and dance (despite the fact that half of the guests are still furiously pointing at their friends and trying to get my attention so that I will dance with their friends, and their friends are now hiding under the table to avoid me), it's almost time for me to make my exit. Plague parties can be very trying and boring, and it's so hard to keep your energy up during your performance when the audience gives nothing back.

A "rockstar party", on the other hand, is the complete opposite of a plague party. Rockstar parties are just like they sound - I am a rockstar. Everyone wants to get up and dance with me because, well, who wouldn't want to dance with the rockstar? The audience is so into the show, cheering and clapping and encouraging. No one points at their friend in an attempt to embarrass them because (1) no one thinks it's embarrassing to dance with the bellydancer and (2) everyone wants to dance with me themselves!

Although it may not be noticeable to the guests at either of these parties, I feel like my performance is so much better at a rockstar party, because I feed off the energy of the audience and I am truly enjoying myself while I'm out there. I love rockstar parties - I wish they were all like that!

What to wear....

I have a gig tonight, and I'm trying to decide what to wear. I'm leaning towards my red lycra number (see picture) because it only made it's debut at the show the other day, and it's super comfortable. I have a long drive to Brooklyn for this job, and I'd prefer to sit in the car in a strechy skirt than in a tight and uncomfortable bra and belt combo.

But, my costume conundrum has got me thinking - do we, as bellydancers, become so caught up in what is trendy and cool in "our world" that we forget that the general public doesn't know the latest fashions of bellydance? If I show up in a sexy and sleek lycra costume, is my audience going to wonder why I'm not wearing a flowing skirt and tons of beaded fringe?

When the general public hears the word "bellydancer", what comes to mind? I think it's the image of the dancer in a fringe laden bra and belt, layered over a flowy chiffon skirt. I think that's what they expect, because it's the typical "harem" costume from hollywood sultan fantasies. And those hollywood fantasies are probably the only exposure to a bellydancer most people have ever had.

Do you think audiences appreciate that bellydance fashion, like all fashion, changes over time? Or do you think they expect us to be stuck in a fashion rutt, wearing the same costumes for all of eternity, because that's what they wear in the movies?

Are fashionable lycra costumes better saved for haflas and other bellydancer-friendly events? Or is the general public ready for a change?

The show was a success!!

Whew, that was fun! After all the months of hard work and preparation, the show has finally come and gone, and it was GREAT!!

I can't even tell you how many compliments I've gotten from people in the audience. Everyone thought the dances were great, and those who were there last year say that the quality of dancing was even better this year! Audience members noticed the improvement in individual dancers from one year to the next, and thought the group numbers looked more polished and professional than ever before.

I was a nervous wreck for the week leading up to the show - not because I was worried about my students or the dances, but because of all the "behind the scenes" stuff that ultimately fell on my shoulders. I was worried that things wouldn't come together like I'd hoped, and that we wouldn't have a smooth and seamless show that the audience could sit back and enjoy. But, of course, the show could not have gone any more smoothly. Everyone who helped out behind the scenes did a great job with keeping the show moving along like the well-rehearsed production it was.

I am truly happy with the success of the show. I couldn't have asked for a better result, and all the hard work, late nights, and gray hairs (I swear, I've found some, and I blame the stress from this show!!) were worth it.

So, my wonderful students, how do you feel? For those of you who were new to the stage, was performing everything it was cracked up to be? For those of you who were in the show last year, how was this show different? Was it better or worse for you, and why?

And finally, the most important question - are you ready for next year????

Connecting with your audience

As our show nears closer and closer, my students are starting to perfect the steps of their dances. But there's more to a performance than just executing steps. Even a choreography that is done to perfection may be boring for an audience to watch if the dancer does not "connect with her audience."

What do I mean by "connecting with your audience?" Well, for one - you must look up! It seems so simple and obvious as you sit here and read this, but many dancers, once they are put in a situation where there is an audience watching them, find it difficult to unglue their gaze from the floor. So...look up! If you find it intimidating to catch the eye of an audience member, pick a spot right above the heads of the audience to focus you attention. The audience will not realize you are staring above them, and it keeps you from looking at the floor. And if you don't mind locking eyes with someone in the crowd, by all means, do it!!

Another tip for connecting with your audience is to enjoy what you are doing. In class, I always stress the importance of smiling, but I think true performing means more than just a smile. Don't get me wrong - if your options are "no smile" and "smile" - definitely smile! But why not try having a little more fun with it? Are you enjoying yourself? Let that show on your face. Expressions that are appropriate for the song and steps of your dance can go a long way in conveying to the audience that you love what you are doing, and they should love it too.

Finally, it's important to remember that, especially if you are performing on a stage, the audience will see everything much smaller than it actually is. For the same reason that stage makeup is so much heavier than real life makeup, so too your moves must be a bit bigger and more defined when you are on stage, versus when you are in class. I'm not advocating forgetting all your form and technique and going all-out crazy when you are on stage. What I'm saying is - make your hip drops sharper, your head snaps snappier, and your camels more undulate-y (what? You get what I mean...). You don't want to perform an entire drum solo of what you think are crazy shimmies, only to have your audience say "Why was that girl just standing still for most of her dance?" because your tiny shimmies got lost on their way to the audience.

So, those are my off-the-top-of-my-head suggestions for improving your "performance" skills. I know there are loads more out there, can you suggest any?